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Tuesday, July 29th, 2008
3:13 pm - Could anyone possibly care?
Ok. It has only been four years since my last post. Why? Because I can. Let me summarize: Finished college, moved to Portland, got engaged, traveled Europe, moved to Scotland, moved back to the states, got un-engaged, and now I'm moving back to Portland. See how easy life is to summarize? One run on sentence later and everyone is caught up with my amazing adventures!

I am sitting here now at my keyboard and I have completely no idea what to type. How sad! Four years and I can't put together more than a few sentences. Maybe I should go get a hobby and then come on here and write about it and how amazing and exciting my life is. I'm really not even sure why I'm writing this in the first place, especially considering that there are probably only a handful of people who will give a fuck that I posted anyways. Word.

(16 worshipers | Drop Science)

Tuesday, June 24th, 2003
4:24 am
I like wallowing in my depression like a pig in its own filth. Once you really embrace it it actually becomes rather soothing. Ahh yes it feels like a nice enema.

current mood: depressed

(17 worshipers | Drop Science)

Monday, June 23rd, 2003
2:51 pm
I had potential to be great today.
Sunday, June 22nd, 2003
4:22 am - Vacation Part 1: How I learned to stop worrying and love the bomb
Day 1: So we pile into my car, which I will refer to from this point on as "the death trap" and my room mate Jesse and I hit it down towards campus to pick up my bastard brother. He had been calling me all afternoon and bothering me by asking when I was "finally going to leave." Well I left my house at approximately 3pm and got to his door at about 3:11 cause I'm mad speedy. He got in, we put some Zeppelin in the ol' cd player and off we head through the ghetto and towards the freeway.

After safe passage was made to the on ramp I came to the realization that I was going to have to pull through some wicked ass traffic jams. My brother's on-ramp is less than 3 miles from the highway I needed to get to, the I94, but still it took nearly 45 minutes to make it there. I'm kind of concerned about this fact because since my water pump hardly works the only thing that keeps my engine cool is the wind while the car is moving. So basically my car is near the borderline of overheation when the traffic finally lets up and we can hit the open road. By this time we are cruising at a pretty good clip and we're about 60 miles into our 150 mile trip when my car starts making some evil stuttering and klunking sounds. I pulled off the highway and into some truck stop and I decided that my car should cool down and all that jazz.

We let it sit for about a half hour while we smoke crack and eat slim jims. Finally, I go back out side only to see a decent sized puddle of oil under the left side of my car, and a good sized pool of coolant under the right. I'm pretty much freaking out at this point but I'm not giving up. I decided I was gonna beat that car until it either made it where I wanted it to go or until it died a horrible smoking death on the side of the road. I figured it would most likely be the latter. Well about a dozen check engine lights later I pulled into my parking spot at my condo. I was pretty tense so we went out to dinner and drank 190 proof vodka until I passed out in my own vomit... or maybe it was someone else's.

Hmm, were you aware that I say "button" and "kitten" funny? Just thought you should know.

current mood: tired

(4 worshipers | Drop Science)

Friday, June 13th, 2003
1:57 am - I'm going on vacation. Everyone is invited! EXCEPT YOU!
yeah, so I'm getting ready to go on vacation which I am calling the drunk/gambling tour 2003 and my room mate and I decided to drink first. We devised this great drinking game called "who will pass out first." Basically you take a sleeping pill every 30 minutes and match each other on shots. So now we're about 10 shots and 3 sleeping pills in...really you've got to try this.

Ok, so I'm going on vacation and I don't want you to use this information to rob my house when I'm gone cause I know where you fucking live. Anyways I'm glad to be getting out of the city for a while but there are a lot of things that I will miss, but hey what can you do. I will trade my usual nights of going to bars and doing tequilla shots off of coeds to doing body shots off of lifeguards. We all have our own cross to bare. Wow, anyways so see you people in a week. Don't do drugs and if you do please don't rob my house for money to support your addiction. Once again... I know where you live mother fucker.

There is/was an internet cafe down the road from where I'll be staying so I don't want you people getting cocky and start talking shit about me while I'm gone. I will be watching. w00t. yeah.

current mood: tired

(3 worshipers | Drop Science)

Sunday, June 8th, 2003
1:40 am - Q: Where is everybody? Where has everybody gone? A: Arby's 5 for 5 Roast Beef Sale
Ok, lemme tell you about a little item called a redbox.

See reboxes are actually Radio Shack Tone dialers... the best model being the 43-146. Basically a tone dialer emulates the sounds that are created by a touch tone telephone. They were intended to be used by people who had rotary phones so they could dial out without having to swing that circle around over and over again. Well in the early nineties some bastard hax0r figured out that you could remove the crystal inside the tone dialer that made the touch tones and replace with a 6.55mhz crystal. Now see this is where it gets interesting because the 6.55mhz frequency is the same tone used by the telephone company when you insert change into a payphone. So basically you could program your tone dialer to emulate the sound of quarters entering a payphone by holding the speaker up to the phone when it asks you to desposit money. Yeah, so a couple of years ago Radio Shack decided to remove the tone dialer from their stores in the late nineties because nobody really had rotary phones anymore. I heard about that and ran out and bought an assload of 'em from radio shacks all over the city. I mean I traveled far and wide to get these fuckin things. Now I've had em for years and never bothered messing with them or even taking them out of their packages. I finally decided to sell them on Ebay to fund my vacation hoping that some bastard will remember how handy they are and pick one up. Check out the auction if you wanna see what one looks like. They are actually pretty cool little gadgets.

Bah, I need money. I've got a vacation coming up in a week and no cash. This is really going to suck if I don't have money to gamble/drink with. If anyone can think of ways to get cash quick that don't require selling drugs or prostituion please let me know.

Banging Ruskies? tsk. tsk.

current mood: anxious

(7 worshipers | Drop Science)

Thursday, June 5th, 2003
1:44 am - The ugly duckling
Yeah, so I go to call my mechanic to come do some work on my pimpass ride, and I look over my lovely vehicle and I see the top of a poofy afro. So I wander outside to see my neighbor standing in the middle of the street with a camcorder. So now I'm thinking "what the fuck is going on?" Turns out he's videotaping a duck, and I think to myself "aww isn't that cute, he's videotaping the duck." Well I start talking to him and he tells me that when he came home he saw two big hawks in his yard just attacking the piss out of something. He thought it was just a mouse until he got close and saw that it was a female duck. Apparently the hawks took off and the duck ran for safety, uhm in the midle of the road. Cars were zooming by and barely missing her. My first thought was to call animal control to come take care of it but I knew I had to get it out of the road first. So I called my room mate Jesse up and asked him to come help because he's pretty good with animals. Eventaully we managed to get the little bastard into my driveway but instead of stopping there it ran into a huge mass of bushes. My room mate and I were tracking the little bastard in the bushes for 45 minutes trying to get it out but it would just run around in the bushes and wouldn't come out. After a lot of hassle we got it out in the open, but the closer I got with my handy rubbermaid bin trap the faster the duck ran away. He hightailed it down this little hill and into a wooded area. I told Jesse that it was time to probably give up but he wasn't gonna let it go that easily after chasing it for nearly an hour. We both jumped down the hill commando style and surrounded the duck and got the bin on top of her. We slid the lid underneath it and scooped it up so we could take it to the humane society. Unfortunately my car needed work done on it so it wasn't able to be driven. We called anyone that we thought would be nice enough to go through the trouble but none of the good people were home. We ended up taking her a ways up the street to release her into a pond. Apparently she was quite the sexy duck because within moments of putting her in to the water she had two male callers eagerly coming towards her to lay their mack down.

So after releasing my duckling friend that I affectionately named "duckstromethorphan" my room mate and I were smoking a cigarette on the porch, and what lands in the middle of the street exactly where the duck used to be? Yes, that's right that big fucking bastard hawk. He looked directly at us as though he was pissed at us for taking away his dinner. HA HA YOU BASTARD HAWK, I'M THE SAVIOR OF DUCKS EVERYWHERE.

By the way, in case you didn't know I'm sorry.

current mood: accomplished

(4 worshipers | Drop Science)

Wednesday, May 28th, 2003
6:07 am
You can't resist her
She's in your bones
She is your marrow
And your ride home
You can't avoid her
She's in the air
In between molecules
Of oxygen and carbon dioxide

Only in dreams
We see what it means
Reach out our hands
Hold on to hers
But when we wake
It's all been erased
And so it seems
Only in dreams

You walk up to her
Ask her to dance
She says, 'Hey baby
I just might take the chance'
You say, 'It's a good thing
That you float in the air
That way there's no way
I will crush your pretty
Toenails into a thousand pieces.'

Only in dreams
We see what it means
Reach out our hands
Hold on to hers
But when we wake
It's all been erased
And so it seems
Only in dreams


current mood: depressed
Friday, May 16th, 2003
4:18 am - Wow another Matrix post!
Yeah so I went and saw the Matrix this morning after an extremely drunken night and 4 hours of sleep. Everyone was telling it was better than the first...it wasn't. It was good in its own right but hey, i'll let you make the decision.

Matrix Reloaded possible spoilersCollapse )

Ok, I've decided what I wanna be when I grow up. I'd like to be Dr. Drew Pinksy formerly from MTV's Loveline and currently host of a radio show of the same name.

Dr.Drew always has the answers. He seems like a swell guy, he makes good money, he knows a lot about sex, and he's very even tempered. Mrs. Pinksy is a very happy woman I'm sure. Dr. Drew probably goes around in the morning solving all of the family problems and makes his kid's lunches before whisking himself off to work.

current mood: restless

(3 worshipers | Drop Science)

Sunday, April 27th, 2003
5:27 pm - You're the flowers in the house when my allergies come out.
Yeah, so I was roused at the crack of dawn, also known to this reporter as 2pm. Apparently my mother wanted to take me to some "heaven for women" place called Michael's Art and Crafts. w00t. This place is crawling with the kind of art and crafts chicks I don't like. Plus it always smells too good...even in the section where they sell chemicals it smells like gardenias. Yeah, so basically mother told me that I couldn't have all this artwork without having frames that suit them in elegance. So there I was in arts n' crafts land...the lone alpha male amongst the pack of acrylic paint hungry female wolves and I think I ended up becoming very in touch with my feminine side.

On another note, why is a 22 year old still carded for cigarettes? This beautiful, youthful face is a curse I tell you!

My room hasn't been cleaned in over a year. I'm seriously thinking about hitting the grindstone. Of course it will take nearly a year to clean it but still...

Also, I've got roughly 10 gigs of music but I'm getting sick of alot of it. If anyone likes 0-day "indie" rock or shit up that vein gimme the name of some songs or artists.

My brothers drawing that I needed a frame forCollapse )

ooh my first LJ cut.. I feel so k-rad.

current mood: sleepy

(9 worshipers | Drop Science)

Wednesday, April 23rd, 2003
4:26 am - Ever been to Saskatoon?
Welp, just finished watching Equilbrium while I should have been writing my top secret Sociology paper about drugs. My professor asked us to make a presentation and include a 2-3 page paper that goes into greater depth on the subject... I'm now on page seven. I'm fucking stupid, I'm gonna get a lower grade for writing too long of a paper. Nothing worse than geting penalized for being a super pimp. Of course it's the story of my life. Nobody appreciates a super-pimp anymore.

Anyways, Equilibrium was pretty kick ass in a 1984/Matrix type of way. Wow, so as I'm writing this post I goto imdb.com to check out what the release date was for this movie and the first user comment on the page says "The Matrix meets 1984 should be another name for this stylish, imaginative action movie." So now I'm the fucking copycat! I can't win today.





i wish i always knew what she was thinking.

current mood: blank

(1 worshiper | Drop Science)

Thursday, April 17th, 2003
4:49 am
I'm so sick of being up till 5:30AM in the morning. This is when respectable people are supposed to be waking up! Anyways so I got bored and I busted out the old multi-track recorder and covered "Lost Cause" it isn't like the album cut because I'm feeling too lazy to finger pick it so, yeah, whatever. The volume is probably a little low so you may have to turn the volume up, I apologize in advance. Did I forget to mention that I sound like shit and I didn't even finish the song! Boy do I know how to sell this shit!

Lost Cause

current mood: sleepy

(1 worshiper | Drop Science)

Tuesday, April 15th, 2003
5:37 am - Baby Blue Sedan
I've been feeling like shit for hours. I can't sleep and everything sucks. Well almost everything. I feel like I've lost control of certain aspects of my life and I'm certainly not used to that. You know what just dawned on me? You're reading this and you have no idea what I'm talking about. Must suck to be you...sitting in front of that radiation producing monitor staring at these sentences that make no sense.

current mood: depressed

(10 worshipers | Drop Science)

Tuesday, April 8th, 2003
11:38 pm - Update
I do NOT hate all Canadians.

I recently become aware of information that quite frankly made me very sad. While talking to a friendly (Non-french) Cannuck, she informed me of a group of deviants in the greater Seattle area who throw peanuts at unarmed Canadians. I post this message because quite frankly I am against it. I am against the throwing of any peanut, legume, or seed that is aimed at anybody in malice.

I hope you take this to heart.

current mood: bored

(7 worshipers | Drop Science)

Monday, February 3rd, 2003
4:06 am - dumb dumb dumb dumb
I was reading this article and it really disturbed me. If you don't feel like reading it I'll give a quick synopsis.

This kid went and did enough prescription drugs to kill a village while on his webcam and ended up dying live on the internet. While this was going on his friends were on irc egging him on and telling him he was "hardcore." After reading the article I was able to pull up actual transcripts from their chat logs. This is some sick and chilling shit. It reads like a script to a bad mocumentary ala Blair Witch or Fubar. His ingestion list reads as follows:

Klonopin, Methadone, Restoril and Inderal, along with marijuana and 151-proof rum

An argument picks up amongst the chatters, some in awe of his accomplishment and others who appeared to be extremely worried for his health. One person calls poison control who informs them that if he actually ingested that amount of intoxicants he should get to a hospital or he will certainly die. Towards the end of the chat logs one concerned reader actually calls 911 to try and get him help but is chastised by a fellow chatter which leads him to hang up. The guy who took the drugs, Brandon Vedas, even gave his cell phone number to the other chatters in case anything was to go wrong. Here are some excerpts from the conversation (time stamps included)

[ 02:50:44 ] [ grphish ] its sad to see you die like this

[ 02:50:50 ] [ ripper ] I told u I was hardcore (Brandon Vedas)

Someone tells him he should throw up in hopes that he won't OD and some genius says:

[ 02:51:55 ] [ %Pnutbot ] purge is not needed

This guy gets on the phone with him and then says

02:57:33 ] [ Smoke2k ] i am trying to talk him into dancing for us

[ 02:57:57 ] [ Smoke2k ] he fuckin won't respond
[ 02:58:02 ] [ Smoke2k ] what the fuck

[ 03:03:07 ] [ hast ] 3.4g methadone
[ 03:03:11 ] [ hast ] is enough to kill kurt cobain

[ 03:21:05 ] [ Smoke2k ] good
[ 03:21:16 ] [ Smoke2k ] that dumb fuck is going to die

[ 03:24:46 ] [ Oea ] i am on line with 911
[ 03:24:49 ] [ Oea ] is this the right choice?
[ 03:24:52 ] [ theKat ] NO

[ 03:25:45 ] [ Oea ] 360mg is a LETHAL OVERDOSE
[ 03:25:51 ] [ Oea ] just so you know


Fucking brilliant people. All around, brilliant people.

current mood: annoyed

(7 worshipers | Drop Science)

Thursday, January 30th, 2003
6:08 pm - yer privates smell funny
In every life there comes a time when you must question reality. A time when you must note the points in your life which bring about change. This is not one those times.

My friend Sabrina has the nasty habit of going to the bathroom while I'm on the phone with her. This all started a few months back when she informed she was using the facilities while we were in the midst of a conversation. Eventually I found the need to fight fire with fire and started giving her a taste of her own medicine. Now I find myself calling her nearly everytime nature calls. Tomorrow I really wanna give her a show so I devised an evil plot. Tonight I'm gonna drink 2 gallons of water before I goto sleep and call her as soon as she gets out of her classes with the loudest fit of morning urination that she has ever heard. Now to the average bystander this may appear sick and disgusting...it is. Quite frankly I don't care.

Please feel free to mock and degrade me for my sick practices.

current mood: amused

(2 worshipers | Drop Science)

Monday, January 27th, 2003
4:59 pm - The needle tears a hole, the old familiar sting.
Ok, now this is weird. Johnny Cash released an album of covers and one of the songs he remade was Hurt by Nine Inch Nails. Of course Hurt is my favorite Nine Inch Nails song but I thought it was an odd choice none the less. So I download the song and listen to it on Kazaa and I'm not really impressed by it. Johnny Cash is old and his voice isn't as strong as it used to be so it kinda sounds like he's just speaking the lyrics instead of singing. Later I realize I accidentally downloaded the music video for the song as well. I go to delete it from my hard drive and I say "What the fuck, I'll take a quick look." This video is so fucking depressing. If you think about it adds a whole different dimension to Trent Reznors lyrics and makes it even sadder than the song already is. I mean they are showing clips of Johnny Cash all young and vital and then showing him now with him singing "What have I become, my sweetest friend?" It's just fucking sad. So if you have the time and inclination check it out...unless you're all into being happy all the time and shit. sissy.

current mood: depressed

(8 worshipers | Drop Science)

Saturday, January 25th, 2003
9:19 pm - I am the walrus.
Have you ever woken up from a dream and wished you could go back. Perhaps exchange your current perception of reality for whatever fleeting glimpse of good that you saw in the midst of your slumber. I've been having these dream far too often over the past year and I don't know if that means that I'm not happy with my life right now or if it implies that I can never be happy. Maybe I'm the type of bastard who always wants more than he can have.

Enough of my depression.

Hello my woodland creature friends. I havent been keeping up with ym journal and I feel like quite the bastard because of that. Lately I've been reading journals and not posting and I decided it just wasn't fair. So even though I'm busy with school during the week I'll still try and post more often.

current mood: blah

(11 worshipers | Drop Science)

Friday, June 21st, 2002
6:19 pm - The three ingredients to happiness.
Listen up students. Listed below are the three ingerdients to happiness, i have included pictures for those that cannot read.



[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<img [...] </img>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.]

Listen up students. Listed below are the three ingerdients to happiness, i have included pictures for those that cannot read.

<img src="http://london-knights.net/acatalog/shotglass.jpg"></img>

<img src="http://www.differ-sa.gr/photos/lemon.jpg"</img>

<img src="http://liquors.pippin.seattle.wa.us/images/yukonjack.jpg"></img>

That's right children, just 3 easy steps. Pour the lemon juice, pour the yukon, chill and serve. Now class...you may be dismissed.


current mood: bitchy

(15 worshipers | Drop Science)

Thursday, November 1st, 2001
4:32 am - The dreaded UPS package debacle

Monday the 22nd 12:52AM CST

It all started out normally enough. I wanted a dvd-rom with dxr3 card for my computer, along with a few other items. I researched prices with my usual methods, and discovered what I needed for a great price from an online wholesaler. I proceeded to make the order or the dvd, a new ATX case with 400W power supply, and 512MB of PC133 SDRAM(for my parents)

Now it's a widely known fact that I am not the most patient person in the world. As soon as I woke up the next day I was online checking the progress of the shipments through ups.com with the supplied tracking numbers. I was ecstatic to see that the dvd would be arriving to me that same Friday, the ram and case were scheduled for the following Monday (but those aren't the items I really cared about anyways)

Friday the 26th 6:11PM CST

...so after a long day of sticking my head out the door looking for my dvd everytime my dogs barked, I became irritated that it was now past 6pm and I hadn't seen that shit colored UPS truck roll past my house. I went in my room and searched for my delivery status through my tracking number. To my dismay I saw that it was still in Cach, Illinois (near Chicago I think) but it was still scheduled for delivery. Thinking this was all a clerical error I called UPS and they told me that shipments went out until 7pm and it would probably be arriving any minute, if not they told me I should shut the fuck up and wait till Monday. So I sat at the door like a puppy waiting for his master to come home for the next hour... and guess what... no fucking dvd.

Monday the 29th 10:14AM CST

Well I just woke up after sleeping on the couch with something hard jammed into my side. I slept on the couch so there would be no chance I would miss the delivery of my dvd if it needed to be signed for. Needless to say it never arrived. I called up UPS to see why it was still in Illinois, less than an hour and a half from my home in Milwaukee. The friendly UPS csr informed me that my package was lost and "oops" nobody really knew about it. Now I'm pissed so I say to the lady - "Look here Jessica, this is a very important package that I need for a network server that was supposed to be installed on Friday. Here it's Monday and if I don't come through with this soon my ass is gonna be in a sling!" I knew that I had impressed her with my urgency, she was like butter in my hands. I could hear the smile in Jessica's voice "Sir, you're just gonna have to deal with that, if you want to find your package you need to contact the shipper and have them put out a trace on the package." Yes, that click was the sound of Jessica hanging up on me, and I seriously really was nice to her... maybe I shouldn't have called her a whore and insulted her grandmother... but I still think it was called for.

So basically here I am... dejected and discouraged by my run in with Jessica the evil customer service rep from the bowels of hell and dvd-less to top it off. I try calling the company that shipped me the dvd but of course nobody that works there speaks english so I end up hanging up. I call back UPS hoping that Jessica will answer again and I can ask her out in a proper manner for a date. Well it turns out some chick named Maria answers the phone and she s a sweetheart and blah blah blah. She ends up putting an urgent trace out on the package that she isn't supposedly supposed to do for the shipee only the shipper. So now I'm all confident that finally my dvd will arrive, when Maria, the shining life in my light informs me that an urgent trace can take up to 8 business days, and if they even find the package at all they will send me a letter via snail mail.

Tuesday the 30th 4PM CST

Now I'm on the phone to UPS for the 336th time in 1 week and I'm becoming more depressed which each phone call. Jessica answered the phone again and informed me that I should stop calling about my package because it generally takes at least 4 business days for any new information. She told me that she could see from her logs that I had called 336 times and that I needn't waste my time. I decided to call back anyways and the person who answered told me that my dvd was mis-routed and found in Maryland, at the Washington D.C. UPS hub and that it will be delivered Friday. I was so happy to hear that they found it that the fact it wasn't going to be here until Friday didn't bother until after I'd already hung up. I call back immediately and I ask if they can expedite the shipping since they fucked up so much already. They flat out informed me they wouldn't and then refused to allow me to speak to the supervisor. Oh well, at least it's coming.

Wednesday the 31st 2:33PM CST

Now the UPS website says my package will be delivered today.
The automated UPs phone line tells me the package will be delivered Friday.
The live UPS operator says it will be delivered tomorrow.

...Fuck it

PACKAGE PROGRESS
Date Time Location Activity
Oct 31, 2001 8:20 A.M. CACH, IL, US IN TRANSIT TO
8:19 A.M. BURTONSVILLE, MD, US DEPARTURE SCAN
Oct 30, 2001 10:12 P.M. BURTONSVILLE, MD, US ARRIVAL SCAN
9:22 P.M. DC SORT, MD, US DEPARTURE SCAN
6:49 P.M. DC SORT, MD, US ORIGIN SCAN
5:34 A.M. DC SORT, MD, US ROUTED INCORRECTLY AT UPS FACILITY;PKG HAS BEEN REROUTED TO DESTINATION
5:34 A.M. DC SORT, MD, US LOCATION SCAN
Oct 25, 2001 5:39 P.M. CACH, IL, US LOCATION SCAN
5:36 P.M. CACH, IL, US LOCATION SCAN
12:33 P.M. CACH, IL, US ARRIVAL SCAN
Oct 23, 2001 11:03 P.M. SWEETWATER HOUSTON, TX, US DEPARTURE SCAN
10:50 P.M. SWEETWATER HOUSTON, TX, US ARRIVAL SCAN
9:59 P.M. STAFFORD, TX, US DEPARTURE SCAN
8:25 P.M. STAFFORD, TX, US ORIGIN SCAN
7:19 P.M. US BILLING INFORMATION RECEIVED

(29 worshipers | Drop Science)

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